and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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