Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
