4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
