I'm eating all of the evidence.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The best revenge is premature balding
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
