idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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