My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
