If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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