Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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