Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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