those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
