People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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