I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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