It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jerry, you need to find god
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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