I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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