We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
