she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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