He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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