Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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