I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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