stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
