Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
