i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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