this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
