I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
