remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
