3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
