all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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