Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
