was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
