# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
