i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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