So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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