The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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