when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
