can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
