i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
