I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm at about main and main street
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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