I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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