alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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