that's an acceptable place to lick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
