We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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