I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i drank out of a bidet.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
