? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
