It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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