Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
