my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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