You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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