yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
