can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
