I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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