Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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