That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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