i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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